When Life Stops Short

Photo by Jon Butterworth on Unsplash

A few days ago, I received a phone call that changed every moment afterward.  One moment, life was unfolding normally, and the next, a hard stop with the news that a close family member is in a serious health crisis. Suddenly, all the “normal” of life is evaluated through a new lens– what is essential and what isn’t, what is certain and what isn’t, what is soon enough and what isn’t, what matters and what doesn’t.

Suddenly daily life things like sleep, work, and play become difficult. Memories surface and seemingly innocent comments trigger emotions which come flooding at inopportune moments. The waiting, the trying to carry on with the mundane, the juggling of responsibilities, all seem more tiring and trying.

But it is also in these times that the hope of the gospel is crystal clear. The truth is that Jesus loves us, died on a cross for our sins, and was resurrected in victory over sin and death so that we could have a hope that is greater than any other. What is this hope? Paul tells us in Ephesians that he wants believers to:

“know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe.” Ephesians 1:18-19

God has given us the hope of an eternal future with him. If we have placed our faith in Christ, one day we, the saints, will inherit a rich and glorious inheritance. God, in his immeasurably great power, has promised us a future with him in the heavenly places. It is at times like this that the promise of a glorious eternity in the presence of God is especially comforting.

It’s a good reminder that the here and now is only temporary, for ALL of us. It is but a breath compared to eternity. Here, there is sickness, sorrow, suffering, and death, but one day, those of us who know Christ are promised there will be no more tears. We will no longer be in the presence of sin and all that entails. Instead, we will be in the presence of God.

“Behold the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:3-4

Sadness, sickness, sin and death are now a reality, and the sorrow is thick and heavy and real. But I cling to an eternal hope.

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” I Thessalonians 4:13

Leading to Innovation or Destruction

As I cruised down the highway last Sunday morning, enjoying the light traffic and sunshine, my eye was caught by a large object on the right shoulder. As I got nearer, I saw a doe nursing her tiny speckled twins just on the other side of the white line. I said a quick prayer that she would lead them back from where they’d come, and not into highway traffic– for her sake and for the sake of her little babies, but also for the safety of any driver who might hit them.

As I continued my drive to church, I was struck by the irony of the situation. This mother doe had very recently given life to these fawns in birth and was nursing them, giving them sustenance to grow and thrive. And yet, she had led them to I-90, only a few wobbly steps or one playful scamper away from death.

Like this doe, we have a responsibility to those we lead. We are called to nourish them, to challenge them to stretch and grow into the next step of maturity. We teach them to hunger and thirst for more of God through the study of His word and through doing life in community with other believers. We challenge them to live authentically, spurring them on toward maturity. We watch them take wobbly steps, and when we see untapped or untried potential, we call them up.

But how might we also be leading them to the edge of a dangerous freeway? Here are three ways we could be doing just that.

1. Dependence or Independence:  Are we giving them increasing opportunities to lead or are we creating in them a dependence on us? As leaders, it is satisfying to be needed, but we should be working ourselves out of a job. Even Jesus, the perfect leader, gave his disciples increasing responsibility and opportunity, knowing that they needed to know how to proclaim the gospel and lead the church  as his time on earth came to a close.
2. Freedom to Fail:  I have failed as a leader many times, and I grew through the failure, and I would venture to say so have you. However, it’s hard to let others fail. It may reflect poorly on us! But, are you providing a safe place for those you lead to process, evaluate, and learn through taking measured risks? Do you have their backs when others question their actions?
3. Room for Innovation: As experienced leaders, we’ve probably figured out what works. We have a system that we prefer. But may I say our way isn’t the only way? And it could even be that those we lead could have some ideas that will reinvent, refresh, and re-imagine the job at hand. Are we encouraging them to read, attend conferences and seminars, and spend time with others in their field to expose them to ideas other than our own? Can we, as leaders, give them room to innovate rather than shutting them down?

May we be the kinds of leaders who breathe life and growth into those we lead, not ones who lead others toward danger. Those we lead must ultimately learn to depend on God alone. After all, one day they will be the ones leading.

 

 

Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.  Proverbs 2:3-5

being frazzled isn’t cute

The past couple of weeks, I’ve begun the process of sprucing up my tiny backyard. The first order of business has been to dig up all the monkey grass. (I think the proper name is “lariope.”) These cute little bundles of long grass are great accents in your flower beds. But the problem is that they don’t stay cute. They send out runners and begin to sprawl every which way.

As I was digging, tugging, and sifting through dirt trying to get out every little bulb, it occurred to me that there is a lesson here for us, women who lead. You see, if you are a leader, you also may tend to sprawl. Maybe you started out in a tidy bundle of ministry, but over the years you have seen needs and your leader’s heart just can’t bear to let them be. Surely you can help just a little, right? What’s one more meeting, one more errand, or one more task? After all, you are good at (whatever, you fill in the blank).

Can I just say something (And please understand, I’m preaching to myself!)? Beware of the sprawl! I have come to believe that God is big enough to raise up both leaders and servants to accomplish what he desires. It’s not all up to you. If you are over-committed, stressed out, frazzled, and flying by the seat of your pants for more than a very short season, something needs to change. A frazzled leader is about as cute as overgrown monkey grass.

it’s not all up to you

First, you are not the only one who can do it. In fact, God may desire to call up and bless someone else through that ministry role. A wise leader asks herself, “Is there someone else who can do this? How can I encourage her or mentor her to help her succeed?” Ministry is a blessing to those God uses! Let others experience it!

Second, maybe it feels like you’re doing too much because God does not want all those things to happen. Prayerfully and critically consider all you are doing. Where do you see God at work NOW? If something is no longer effective, relevant, or useful, don’t be afraid to let it die! Dig it up, roots and all, to make room for the new things God is doing.

Jesus, the Master of margin, modeled both of these points. First, sent his disciples out two by two and then had them report back. Rather than doing it all, he mentored and delegated ministry to his disciples (see Matthew 10). Second, He instructed them not to continue pursuit of unfruitful ministry. “When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next… (Matthew 10:23).” Jesus is our model, so join me in blowing wind into the sails of others, and pruning away the sprawl so you can do what God has called you to wholeheartedly.

The Real Deal

The glass artist of Murano, Italy has handed down his craft from generation to generation. The husband works the glass, while the wife manages the shop. She proudly shows us around, adding a syllable to the end of each word in that distinctive Italian style. She explains to us how the colored beads or glass tubes are rolled on, and incorporated into the glass. She describes how her husband pinches the sides for a more pleasant grip.

But first, she is careful to explain how to tell the real thing from a fake. You see, there are many glass shops on Murano, and a significant number of them sell “fakes.” Glass that is less expensive, and made in molds, not hand blown. Look at the bottom of the glass. Can you see where it was attached to the rod? Is the glass heavy or thin? Has the artist signed his work?

How appropriate for us to end our trip the way it started, thinking about “authenticity.” Our main purpose in Europe had been to teach believers and seekers in nearby Slovenia at a multi-church retreat. Our text was Matthew 14, where Jesus walks on the water– the storm… fear… faith… failure… and worship. We taught through the text and challenged them to think honestly about their own storms, fears, and failures and to share their stories with one another.

We learned that it is counter-cultural for them to be so transparent with others, and that such authenticity is seen as weakness. But these precious people bravely responded, taking risks to share their struggles with each other. And as a result, they experienced community, and found the beautiful freedom in Christ that comes from such authenticity.

I don’t know about you, but I long to be real. I need to be honest with God and others about my struggles. Christ meets me in the midst of my storms, fears and failures and gives me his strength.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith– that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

You. Are. Needed.

Do you feel needed? Are there some skills that you bring to the office that no one else can bring? Are you the one in your friend group who keeps everybody organized, who makes people laugh, or who is the shoulder to cry on?

How about at church? Do you feel needed there? Are you using your gifts, your skills and experience? Are you being stretched and empowered as a leader to disciple others? Did you know that if your answer to those questions is “no,” it’s not just you who is missing out. The whole church is missing out, too!

Paul says in Ephesians that each of us has been given gifts “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up of the body of Christ (that’s all of us), until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to mature manhood (and womanhood!) to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-14)

Let me say it again. You. Are. Needed! God has made you uniquely to help others in the church grow. We call that “sanctification.” That’s one of the key purposes of the church! You are SO important to the church!

If you are not in a place where you feel needed, here are a couple of ways to initiate change. First, pray and ask the Lord to show you what your gifts are, and to give you a place to make a difference in your church. Second, take initiative. Ask a leader in your church to coffee. Tell them what you have to offer and ask for help finding a place to connect.

Let me know how you’re needed in your church, and if you are still figuring it out, let me know how it’s going! I’m cheering you on!

Lessons from Balloon Towers

Yesterday, the women in my Bible study on Ephesians played a game. The goal was to build the tallest balloon tower we could in just a few minutes. One woman on each team was the “supervisor,” two women were the “balloon blower-uppers,” two were the “masking tapers,” and one gal was to read a verse aloud to the team every minute throughout the activity.

Watching the women interact and work at their task, brought out several lessons from Ephesians 5:21-6:9, the “submission passage.”

All members of one team began to quickly blow up balloons, saying this was a much more efficient way to go. Maybe so, but the rule was that only two women were to blow up balloons. God asks us as women to submit in the marriage relationship, but what if you have an MBA? What if you are able to run a corporation, a ministry, and a family, all without breaking a sweat? What if you’re “better at it” or more efficient at it than your husband?  Are you still called to submit, or can you make up your own rules?

Some teams really went for height in their tower, to the exclusion of structural strength. In our relationships, are we stretched too thin? Are we too busy to pour relationally into our parents, children, husband, co-workers, and so on? Are we simply too busy to model selfless love and to look out for the best interest of others?

One final lesson. One woman’s job was to speak the Word of God over her team. But she couldn’t be heard over the noise of the task at hand. In our effort to focus on what’s going on and to do it well, are we listening for what is truly important? Are we being subject to the Lord in our every moment? Are we taking time daily to read and study His Word,  prayerfully applying what the Lord is teaching us? Don’t forget to listen for His voice!

 

Free to Worship (part 3)

She had Jesus’ full attention, and now He had hers. He knew all about her ignorance and her sin, and yet still he spoke to her. This was her chance to ask him something that she had been wondering for a long time.

The woman then asked Jesus where people ought to worship, “on this mountain or in Jerusalem.” But Jesus responded by saying that it was not “where” that was important, but “what.” “You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know.” He pointed out the importance of not worshipping God in ignorance but “in spirit and truth.” In the words of Matt Chandler, “God is seeking worshippers with inflamed hearts and informed minds.”[1]

Are you getting to know the God you worship? Is your pursuit of Him a passive afterthought, or is it a priority in your life? Do you pursue him with your intellect as well as with a whole-hearted passion? Each of us likely has a default mode. We are either inclined toward the heart or the mind. But rich worship flows through both. Make sure you are not only leaning on your strengths, but that you are also working those weaker “worship muscles.”

John 4:29-30 is the beautiful result of the woman’s time with Jesus. She had been set free, having overcome the barriers of idolatry, unconfessed sin, and ignorance, and she couldn’t contain herself. She left what she was doing and went back to town, to the very people she was avoiding, and invited others to meet Jesus. Her life had been changed by Jesus’ call to true worship, and it was contagious. Some even consider her to be the very first missionary.

Do you value worship? Jesus does. Worship can be experienced both individually and corporately through praise, prayer, giving, communion and baptism, and the study of the Word of God. Are you experiencing true barrier-free worship, both in your time alone with the Lord and alongside the rest of your church family? True worship should change your life, and it should draw those around you to Jesus.

[1] Matt Chandler, Sermon given at The Village Church, Flower Mound, TX,  (date, and link to online access).

Free to Worship (part 2)

The woman at the well had Jesus all to herself. The disciples had gone ahead, and Jesus, though tired and thirsty, wanted to set her free, free to worship unhindered by things that had her stuck.

Jesus then asked the woman about her husband. She tried to avoid his probe by answering, “I have no husband.” But the Knower of All Things responded, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.” Jesus knows our sin and our story. It is no surprise to him. But like the woman, we want to hide it. The only problem is that our unconfessed sin is another barrier to worship.

As believers, Jesus has paid the penalty for our sin on the cross. Because of his sacrifice, we have forgiveness and an eternal future in God’s presence. Even though we have been delivered from the penalty of sin, we still battle the power of sin until we reach our eternal home where we will no longer be in the presence of sin. Our eternity is secure, but the sin in our lives, left unconfessed and hidden, creates a relational barrier between us and God, affecting our ability to worship him as we should.

Is there something you’ve tried to ignore or hide from God? Is sin numbing your love for the Lord? Humble yourself and come clean before God. Confess it to him, repent, and receive forgiveness and restored fellowship with him. He longs for a “full disclosure” love relationship with you!

Free to Worship (part 1)

The woman at the well was not thinking about worship when she arrived that day. She was there at high noon, likely hot and sticky, long past when the other women had all come and gone. She was eager to get her needed water and hurry back home, hoping to avoid the stares of judgement and pity from the townspeople who knew her story.

In John 4:1-30, we read that this woman’s hurried task was interrupted when Jesus, wearied and thirsty, spoke. “Give me a drink.” Astonished that he would speak to her, a Samaritan woman despised by the Jews, she engaged the Lord in a conversation which would address three barriers in her life that were keeping her from true worship.

She wondered aloud why he would ask her for a drink of water from the well. His unexpected response was that she should actually be the one asking for a drink of living water from his well—one that would ensure she would never thirst again. In other words, she was drinking from the wrong well.

Are you drinking from the wrong well? Are you seeking something that satisfies only temporarily? A new relationship? A better job? A nicer car? A better physique? What is it that you think will bring you satisfaction and contentment? How long will that satisfaction last? If it isn’t living water, sooner or later, it will disappoint, and is a barrier to true worship. Jesus says that only he can truly quench our thirst forever!

And She will have Pain in Childbearing

The other night I had a dream. I was the mother of two little sons. We were in a large building trying to find an elevator. My destination– Disneyland! However, I could not for the life of me find the elevator, and meanwhile, my little ones kept scurrying away from me. Finally I found the elevator, and scooped up my young sons. Going Up. But the elevator did not go up. It veered away, whisking us to an unknown location where the doors opened to a room in a seedy motel. Strangers came toward us and in a panic, I frantically tried to find my way back to the elevator that would take us to Disney. Then I woke up.

The reality of my heart was crystal clear as I woke up. Though my children are now mostly grown, my heart for them is still the heart of a mother. It breaks when they struggle, choose unwisely, and wander. I want so much to be able to protect them, and bring them to “the most wonderful place on earth,” but try as I may, I cannot take them there.

After Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, God said to the woman in Genesis 1:16, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.” I think that pain goes far beyond labor pains.

The pain of a mother lasts her whole lifetime, as her own sin, the sin of her children, and the sin of the world bare down upon her and her family, causing her children to scurry away, and elevators to take them to destinations unknown. It is this pain that drives me to my knees, in need of a loving Savior who will walk with me, and with my precious children. He is in their story and mine, messy as it is.

“I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.'” Psalm 91:2